Now made with 100% all-natural, non-carcinogenic ingredients, guaranteed or your money back!
Cheese Whiz: "Now with up to 2.4% more cheese flavor in every third bite! (Void where prohibited.)"
Brussels Sprouts: "Now with 40% more edibility!"
Cigarettes: "Now with 30% more cost!"
Carrots: "Tired of eating the same old carrots? Well, try new carrots! Now with 100% more carrotiness in every carrot!'
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